Being tested as a mom.

I really didn't want to post this so close to the New Year because I don't want it to come across as me making a resolution for 2014, I think resolutions are fake and I only keep them for maybe the month of January. Let me start by saying I am not a very patient person to begin with even when it comes to other aspects of my life besides my kids.

For the past four or so months Tae has really been testing my patience and just me as a mom. He screams, he throws tantrums, he whines, he begs, just everything to really get under my skin. The worst is when we are in a store or out in public and he sees something he wants. He is bound and determined to beg and cry until he gets what he wants, even if it means throwing himself on the ground and whaling his arms and legs. This isn't just sometimes it's EVERY.SINGLE.TIME we go into public. It's so embarrassing I just choose not to go anymore. He also acts like this at home and it kills me, he wants what he wants and will fight until he gets it. He is a very determined child!

He watches a lot of television but honestly it's the ONLY time he isn't screaming. I read an article one time saying that too much T.V. can cause ADHD and other problems in children. So here I am turning on a movie for him, kicking myself in the butt because now I think I'm a terrible mom for letting him watch it. I want him to play with his millions of toys but he just won't. When I was a kid it was hard for me to entertain myself and I totally see that in him. He is very dependent on others and I don't want him to be like that. I need to learn how to teach him to play by himself, in his room, ALONE!

I know that I am not alone in this, there are several other moms out there who have kids just like Tae. This however is my first time going through this and I am really being tested. There are days I just give up and want to lock myself in the bathroom until Michael gets home from work. I can't do that so I must figure out a solution to resolve this behavior in him. I know deep down inside he is a brilliant, smart, happy kid I just have to dig for it. And I will dig for it. From now on I want to focus on his positive characteristics and bring out the good in him. I want to give him attention and praise when he is doing something good and instead correct the behavior that is bad instead of just yelling at that behavior.

So these past four or so months I have been yelling and screaming just like him and I've came to the conclusion that this isn't solving anything. He is learning that yelling and screaming is the right way to do things. I'm not saying that I will completely stop yelling at my kids because I know that will not happen. I am however going to make an effort to be more calm, cool, and collected towards them. Hopefully me showing them how to act in situations will help them learn the same traits.
I am going to try and limit Tae's T.V. time and instead work on playing with him in his room and teaching him how to play by himself. I need to lead by example and he will eventually follow.
I've realized that many of the reasons Tae acts the way he does is because well 1) he's two years old-terrible twos as they call it, and 2) because he is just following my lead.

I want to be a better mom for my kids, I feel like we can always improve the way we go about teaching our kids and I want to fix how I teach mine. Instead of yelling and losing my patience I am going to stay calm, BREATH, and teach Tae how he should act!

In conclusion I love that Tae is testing me because I feel like it helps me become a better mother and better person overall. I learn from my mistakes and improve myself while also improving him! We are going to get through this time and we are going to do it together!